“So…what’s it like being an all-powerful being?” asked the bartender.

“Knackering!” said God.

“Yeah…right….like you have anything to do these days!” said The Devil.

“Eh?”

“Well…when was the last time you created a universe?”

“Emmm…..”

“THIRTEEN AND A HALF BLOODY BILLION YEARS AGO…THAT’S WHEN!”

“It takes a lot out of you…”

“Bollocks….it only took you A WEEK!”

“It seemed a lot longer back then.”

“And you were a lot younger….” said the bartender.

“Not necessarily…”

“Hang on….that was BILLIONS of years ago….you must have aged a bit since then…”

“He’s GOD…..he doesn’t HAVE an age!” said The Devil.

“Wow…..so…..no birthdays then, I suppose?”

“No birth!” said God.

“So what do you guys DO all day?”

“Oh I’m always very busy.”

“Yeah…..no rest for the wicked,” said The Devil.

“What….creating more of those parallel universes and stuff?” asked the bartender.

“Oh no….that’s the easy bit. I’ve got it all down to a fine art now,” said God.

“He’s got a system,” said The Devil.

“Yep….darkness everywhere first, then light, then big round floaty bits, then LIFE, with teeny weeny wriggly bits, then plants, animals, dominant species, teenagers…then religion, politics and taxation!”

“Works like a treat every time…”

“I’ve even got a patent pending for it…”

“You’ve got a PATENT for creating bloody UNIVERSES?” blurted the bartender.

“Pending…”

“Marketed properly, a thing like that could be very profitable!” said The Devil.

“But….but….who the blue blazes would you market it to? NOBODY ELSE CAN MAKE UNIVERSES!!!”

“Hey….he didn’t get where he is today without protecting his rights!!”

“WHAT BLOODY RIGHTS?  HE’S THE ONLY UNIVERSE CREATOR IN EXISTENCE!!”

“You can’t be too careful…” said God.

“YOU’RE GOD…..FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!!”

“Technology moves fast!” 

“What’s THAT got to do with ANYTHING?” asked the bartender.

“Well…the way we figure….it’s not going to be long before you lot can create your own universe!!” said The Devil.

“HOLY FRIG!!! HOW LONG?”

“Ooooooh…..best guess…we’d say a mere 100 million years. Maybe 200 tops!”

“So we’ve got our best team of patent lawyers standing by,” said God.

“Yeah…ready to sue your asses!!”

“If you have any asses left by then……”